It is a popular belief that wedding cards, elders’ blessings, and film songs all carry the same promise, that matches are made in heaven. It sounds warm and romantic. It also silently sets up big expectations that the marriage will work because fate arranged it.But real-life incidents are quite different from what we imagine, and married life is also surrounded by many other responsibilities like bills, family pressure, different habits, and tired evenings, apart from whirlwind romance. When things get difficult, many couples wonder what went wrong. Some start to think they were never meant for each other.Spiritual teacher Sadhguru offers some practical advice with his unique take on marriage. He doesn’t treat marriage as a gift from the heavens. Instead, he treats it as a practical arrangement between two people. In an Isha Foundation video on marriage and the spiritual path, he says, “Don’t try to raise it to heaven” and reveals how one tiny mistake can ruin marriages.
What is the 1 tiny mistake that can ruin marriages, Sadhguru says is the belief that marriages are made in heaven
Sadhguru says, “The biggest mistake humanity made was they started saying marriages are made in heaven,” and everything turns into a mess when we think the match was made elsewhere, by somebody else. He explains that if heaven made the match, then you didn’t, and it becomes easy to blame fate, or the other person, when things go wrong.He describes marriage as a way of bringing some sanctity to the basic needs every human being has, including physical, psychological, economic, emotional, social, and more.Sadhguru adds that it is important to be grateful for your partner, ”to fulfill these needs, you want to find one person that you can depend on. If you understand and you’re always grateful for this, that somebody is fulfilling all your needs, you would handle it well. You wouldn’t make a misery out of it.”He suggests remembering that if you do, you will handle the relationship responsibly. The other person has needs too, and both of you should know that. Then there is cohesion, with neither person treated as the provider of happiness.
Where do marriages go wrong?
Sadhguru warns that a relationship is seen as “a bundle of expectations” for extracting happiness from someone will end in disappointment. If you are unhappy and expect your partner to fix it, he says the unhappiness will multiply.Adding, he said, “This is not about you squeezing happiness out of somebody or they squeezing happiness out of you. If two happy people meet, then there can be something wonderful happening between them. But you’re a misery and you think somebody else should be the source of your happiness, well, it’ll multiply.”
